Saturday, July 5, 2008

gas and phlegm bags


There is so much about humans that is gross. We are walking, talking gas and phlegm bags. We swallow our own spit by the gallons and expell gas out of a hole even while sleeping.

I believe we are the aliens, sent here to excrete all our bodily fluids upon the land and then move to another planet... say Mars..

Disgusting habits of humans ( but I do them)

1. blowing their noses in the shower...( it is the best time because it is loose!)


2. sneezing... seems harmless but it sprays your juices in a six foot radius


3. farting..of course your own doesn't smell, but the guy next to you in the movie theater? gross!


4. picking the dirt out from under your nails.... and then wiping the bacteria laden nail goo on your pants.


5. letting a dog lick you in the mouth...( I refuse to allow this one to go unnoticed) why don't we just lick the dogs butt for them?


6. letting a foreign born woman paint my toes and rub my feet for money. so freakin' awesome, but poor lady....my feet aren't bad, but what about gorilla lady next to me?


7. drinking the last 1/8th inch of your drink... all it is is backwash...

Coming from this family I am sure you all can add to this list....
Bring the disgust on.....

6 comments:

Monica said...

NUMBER 5 IS STEVEN. 100%. HE LETS CHOMPER LICK HIS MOUTH ALL DAY AND THEN WONDERS WHY I WONT KISS HIM?

SERIOSULY HE SHOULD JUST LICK CHOMPS BUTT AND GET IT OVER WITH!

YOUR FART MAY NOT STINK TO YOU WHILE..SAY YOUR LAYING ON THE COUCH, BUT I DARE YOU, NO WAIT, I DOUBLE DARE YOU TO FART IN THE SHOWER....

Mary said...

LOL! I have farted in the tub...

and it did stink...

Vicki said...

How about setting your purse down on a public bathroom floor, then going home and setting it on your kitchen counter.

Sarah Michele said...

EWWWW! This post was so gross, Mom!

There has been some pretty nasty stuff going on in my throat region, does that count? Shall I take pics and blog? Just kidding.

Mary said...

good one mom.... what do people think?

How about food falling on the restaurant floor and people pick it back up and eat it?

what about taking a cigarette out of the sand by the entrance of a restaurant and light it..

Vicki said...

what about tasting my backwash salad dressing?
What about poop on a toilet seat
What about using someone else's toothbrush